How life works von GizziJu (Ereri/Riren - Modern AU) ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: Chapter 1 -------------------- "Eh?" I looked down at a piece of paper that was in my hand. It was a note from my sister. I read it again and again and again but I just couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell me.   'Dear little Brother, the death of our parents was so long ago and I decided to move on. I went abroad to Germany to go to university there with the money I have saved up over the years. From now on I won't be able to help you anymore so you have to start living by yourself. Good luck! Your Big Sis ♡'   I sat down on the kitchen table and read it one more time, word for word. I layed the paper slowly down on the table, pulled my knees to my chest laying my head on them, silent tears escaping my eyes.   "You idiot Big Sis" I whispered to myself because no one else was there to hear me out.   After a while in which I whispered this sentence again and again to myself, my eyelids got really heavy and I fell asleep.   When I awoke I layed on the floor. I had a huge headache because of all the crying. I stood up and walked to the sink to get me a glass of water and some medicine. I also made something to eat and sat down on the couch in the living room, turning on the TV. The news were on right now.   "Today is the 1st death anniversary of the people who died in the accident on the highway to Brooklyn. Friends and family..."   I muted the TV, tears escaping my eyes again. I totally forgot that today is the day my parents had died 1 year ago. I curled into a ball on the couch, sobs and hicups escaping my mouth. Kapitel 2: Chapter 2 -------------------- I guess I haven't even introduce myself yet.   My name is Eren Jaeger. I'm a 15 year old boy and I never in my life have left the house.   "What?! You have never left the house?!"   That's probably what you think right now. That's the reaction I always get but I didn't choose this myself. I really wanted to go out. Shopping, restaurants, school, even having friends, that's all I ever wished for as a kid but no, due to my bad health I could never leave our apartment.   My father, Grisha, was a teacher so he tought me everything I have to know. I'm really smart because my dad wasn't just a highschool teacher or something, no, he was a university prof. That means I made my last exam a year ago, a few days before my dad has passed away.   My mother, Carla, was a florist. She also owned a little flower shop down the street.   And then there's my big sister Mikasa who left me yesterday. We aren't related by blood but she was always there for me, my only friend.   And that left me in the situation I'm now, standing infront of the fridge, staring at nothing. Yeah nothing.   And that means?   Yeah right. I have to go shopping.   You remember how I said I have never in my life left the house?   Then I guess you know it's gonna be hell to go shopping in the big city I'm living in, New York City.   But from now on I have to learn on my own how life works. Kapitel 3: Chapter 3 -------------------- Today is the day. Today I'll leave the house for the first time in my life. And that's because I ran out of food and drinks so I have to go shopping.   I already put on my shoes and a light jacket because it's spring.   Sometimes I wonder why I even have outdoor clothes. But nevermind that.   I had my wallet in my right back pocket and my phone in the left. I stood infront of the door, taking a deep breath and releasing it again.   Slowly I reached for the doorknob. My hand was shaking like crazy. I put my hand on the knob, turning it slowly around. The door opened and I pulled it bit by bit to myself, opening it completly.   The noise from the cars rang through my ears. People pushing themself forward in both directions to get to their destination. My breath hitched, then got faster and faster. I couldn't breath normaly anymore.   I stumbled out the door, because I couldn't stand right anymore, closing it behind me.   I walked a few steps holding myself up on the wall, trying to calm my breath which didn't really work. Instead it got faster and more unsteady until I couldn' stand on my two feet any longer and collapsed., kneeling down on the ground next to the wall.   I felt how my heartbeat got faster aswell. The sounds around me got quieter and quieter while my vision blurred.   'Hell! This is hell!' was all I could think of.   When suddenly something pulled me out of my trance.   A hand that layed gently on my shoulder and a mans low voice which asked those three words with only a tiny little bit of worry in it.   "Are you okay?" Kapitel 4: Chapter 4 -------------------- I slowly looked up into hard, steel grey eyes with a hint of a soft blue. They were gorgeous! But that didn't matter now.   My body shook terribly but the hand on my shoulder somehow calmed me down, so much that I could at least bring out one shaky word "...no...".   The good looking man sighed and kneeled down infront of me. "Okay...try to calm down and to breath normaly"   I tried to do what he said, my breath hitching at times and a single tear rolling down my cheek. I really thought his eyes widened at that moment but I guess not because they instantly looked the same again.   My breathing was steady again and he nodded "Good. So now tell me where you live. I'll bring you there".   I nodded slowly and then pointed to a door only like 15 meters from our location. He made a weird click sound with his tounge and then helped me up.   We walked the few steps and stood infront of the door. "Uhmm..." I didn't know what to say because we just stood there.   "The key" he said looking at me and holding out a hand.   "O-oh" I pulled out the key, giving it to him. He opened it, we wlaked to the elevator and exited it again on the floor my apartment was. He opened this door too and helped me to the couch where I sat down.   He looked around and made this click sound again. "Filthy" he murmured.   "Uhmm..."   "What?" he asked annoyed.   "Could you mabye tell me your name?" He starred at me for a while before turning away again.   "Levi Ackerman's the name. You?" I starred. "Hello?" Levi asked annoyed.   "Oh huh?"   "Your name brat"   "Oh sorry. Eren. Eren Jaeger" he sat down beside me on the couch in a weird way.   "Don't mention the way I sit. So tell me Jaeger. What happened there right now?"   "Oh uhmm well you see..." I felt my cheeks heat up a bit because of embarrassment. "It was...a panic attack I guess".   "You were like 15 meters away from you apartment. That's just stupid to have a panic attack then."   My face reddened more "That's because I was never outside!"   His eyes widened "You what?"   "I was never in my whole life outside. That was the first time." I looked down to the folded hands in my lap.   "Goooood" he sighed. It was silent for a while before he spoke up again. "Tell me. How old are you and where is your family?"   This time my eyes had widened while I answered him "Well my sister studies abroad and my parents..." I stopped small tears forming in the corners of my eyes.   "Go on" he leant forward so that he could look me in the face.   "They died a year ago." It came out as barely a whisper bit so that he could still hear it. The raven haired man put his hand on my shoulder while a tear rolled down my cheek. "Now I'm all alone... I know no one... It's scary..." Another cheek rolled down my cheek. "I don't want to be alone".   And now something happened I had never expected "Shh it's okay... I'm here now". Kapitel 5: Chapter 5 -------------------- We both stopped at the words that came out of the older mans mouth. We stared at each other with wide eyes.   "Huh?..What-" he interrupted my sentence when he suddenly stood up and walked to the door, making that weird click sound again.   ~ Levi's POV ~( I usually don't switch POVs but it's easier for what comes next )   'Holy fucking shit! What the hell was that!?' I thought while putting on my shoes when I suddenly heard  quick footsteps behind me, then there was something tugging on my arm or someone.   I turned around to see the brat clinging to my arm, crying. "No... don't leave...please..." he said between sobs.   "Tch. And why should I stay with a brat I don't even know?" I looked annoyed into his big emerald green eyes. 'God...his eyes are gorgeous' I immediately banned this thought from my mind when he started speaking again.   "Please Levi. You're the only person I know somehow..." he stopped and thought for a moment before contiuning. "Only for a while...stay with me"   His eyes glittered when the tears stopped falling. I thought for a few seconds wiggling my arm out of his grip.   God this boy is strong.   I stood up looking down at the brown haired boy and sighed. "Fine...but only for a while. I'll show you everything you have to know  so that you can live by yourself and then I'm outta here. Deal?" I asked reaching out a hand to the same boy that was now standing infront of me.   A bright smile formed on his face and he took my hand "Deal!"                                                                                        -[X]-   We sat on the couch again after I had made us some tea. I picked up the cup to drink a bit when I felt the brat staring at me in a weird way. I knew exactly why but still found me asking the boy annoyed with a sigh.   "What is it brat?"   He pointed to the cup in my hand "Cup"   I sighed again. "Yeah and that's a couch and that's a chair." I pointed to the things I was talking about  "Are we done now?"   "No, I mean why are you holding it like that? It's as weird as the way you sit".   I facepalmed myself at his dumbness. "And I told you not to mention it".   He lowered his head mumbling something like a 'right' before speaking up again. "So, Levi tell me..."   I looked confused at him because he didn't finish his sentence "Tell you what brat?"   "Everything!"   "Huh?" I just didn't knew what the fuck he wanted from me.   "Well we are going to spent some time together so I thought it would be best to get to know each other at least a little bit."   I sighed and leaned my head back against the couch. "And what do you want to know brat?"   "Well I guess for the beginning just simple things like..." he thought. "Oh right! I didn't asked you about your age so..."   "I'm 19"   Eren blinked twice  before speaking "Hey! That makes you only four years older than me! Okay now it's your turn to asked something"   I groaned but did as he said. This went on until 11p.m. and I decided to go home.   He whined but I gave him my phone number and address if something were to happen. When I got home and plopped down on my bed my phone vibrated.   Of course it was a text from the brat. "Tch." I rolled my eyes  when I read it, typing a quick answer, that I bet made the kid smile from ear to ear, before falling asleep with my clothes still on.   'Thanks and good night Levi :)'   'No prob kiddo, night' Kapitel 6: Chapter 6 -------------------- A few minutes after Levi had left I sat at the kitchen table again, staring at the piece of paper where he had written down his phone number and address.   'Levi Ackerman huh?' I stared at it some more before deciding to write him a SMS, thanking him again and wishing him a good night.   After I got his reply I went to bed with a smile on my face. I layed there for a long time before I looked at the red numbers beside my head.    1a.m. it read.   I even know why I couldn't sleep.   His face, voice and actions just didn't leave my thoughts. His steel grey eyes and this frown on his face which seemed to soften over time.   Everything he told me replayed in my head. The fact that he's from France and that his whole family was killed except for his uncle Kenny.   He came to America when he was twelve. He lived with a guy named Erwin Smith and his family until he was 18, so until last year. At school he got to know more people like a girl called Hanji. She's a crazy scientist.   He was with a girl, Petra Ral, until he noticed with 17 that he's gay.   At that moment I stopped my thoughts. It took me some time but then I suddenly sat up, face bright red. 'Oh my gosh!! He's gay! Why didn't I react then and there? I'm so stupid' I thought hanging my head in shame.   I plopped down again with a heavy sigh while my heartbeat got faster. The problem wasn't that he's gay. The problem is that I'm gay and my fast beating heart and the fact that I can't sleep because I'm thinking only of him.   A few seconds later I sat up again, shaking my head and then clapping my hands on my cheeks.   "That can't be it! No, no, no, no, no! I don't even know this guy!... Okay he told me so much but I know him for not even a day!" I contiuned my rant while walking out of my room and into the kitchen, getting myself a glass of water.   "I might be sick...but...if not then I guess I don't have another option than to give up. I mean...why would he fall for me out of all people?" I slumped down to the kitchen floor, head on my knees.   "Just so stupid. I'm so stupid. He's like... perfect but I'm just... a loser that never in his life had seen anything than this apartment." Tears slowly slipped from my eyes.   "I'm hopeless..." and with that I had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor, a last tear escaping my eyes. Kapitel 7: Chapter 7 -------------------- I woke up to a voice calling my name and someone shaking me. I slowly opened my eyes. My vision was a bit blurry but when my eyes focused I saw that the one who woke me up Levi was. He looked really worried. His loud voice got quieter when he saw that my eyes were open.   "Levi...what's wrong?" I asked him tiredly rubbing my sleepy eyes.   "What wrong is?!" he raised his voice a bit with anger in it. Levi calmed himself before continuing. "Jeager, I knocked at your door for 15 minutes calling your name but you didn't open the door nor did you answer."   I looked him in the eyes and could see the extrem worry in them. "I'm sorry..." it was barely above a whisper but he could still hear it. His eyes softened and the worry in them faded. "But how did you get in here? The door was locked".   "After a while I went to the caretaker and he opened it for me. I was shocked when I saw you here on the floor. I got worried when you didn't woke up for a moment."   I could only stare into his eyes. I felt so guilty. Without thinking my right hand went up to his cheek, caressing it gently with my thumb. His grey eyes widened when I gave him a sorrowful smile. "I'm so sorry Levi. I never meant to worry you like that. Can you forgive me?"   He put his hand on mine and took my other one in his "Of course I can. You're okay and that's all that matters" When he finished talking he pulled me up by my hands which were in his. I didn't know he was so strong so that when he pulled I flew onto him, in his arms.   I took this chance and hugged him thighly saying 'Sorry' again and 'Thank you' because he helped me up. Suddenly Levi started to squirm out of my grip. "What's the matter?" I asked when he put his hand over his mouth and nose.   "Take a shower, idiot. You smell like shit"   My cheeks went red when I remembered that the last time I showered was three days ago and with my panic attack and everything I got really sweaty. "I'm sorry" I said turning away "Make yourself feel at home while I'm in the shower" I ran to my room grabbing some clothes and then dissapeared into the bathroom.   "Tch brat" I heard Levi say before I closed the bathroom door.   I stripped down and turned on the shower, jumping in, not even waiting for the water to get warm. My cheeks flushed more as I thought about what had just happened.   'What the hell?! My hand on his cheek and...a hug?! He's not my boyfriend or something like that!' I groaned and slammed my head against the wall. "Shit!" I called out rubbing my forehead when I heared a knock on the door.   "Is everything okay in there Jaeger?"   I winced at the pain then answered. "Yeah everything's alright" I finished showering with just thinking of how stupid I am. After my little action with my head it took my ca. 30 minutes before exiting the bathroom.   When I walked out I smelled something really good. I jogged to the kitchen and saw that Levi was cooking something.   "You can cook?" I asked looking over his shoulder.   "Of course I can. I'm living by myself and I don't want to eat only fast food and ready meals."   I just looked at him cooking when I remembered something. "Wait. I didn't have any ingredients here so how...?"   He turned the stove off and placed the pot on the table, sitting down with me. "Before I came here I remembered that you told me yesterday that you wanted to go shopping because you hadn't anything at home anymore. So I bought some things for you before coming here." He started eating and I smiled at him before I began eating aswell.   "I see, thank you" I took the first bite and my face lit up. "This is delicious Levi!" I dug in and just shoved the food in my mouth.   Levi looked up and then spoke with an annoyed face "Oi, brat! Stop stuffing it down your throat if it's delicious. You have to enjoy it" He looked down and contiuned eating while I looked at him. "And thanks" I heard him mumble between bites.   I smiled and began to eat again as well. This time not stuffing but enjoying the food Levi has made for me. Kapitel 8: Chapter 8 -------------------- I laid lazily on the couch with my phone while Levi was in the kitchen washing the dishes. I told him that that wasn't necessary and that I would do that later. But he insisted on washing them. I remembered how he told me that everything has to be clean and neat so that he feels at ease. So I just decided to let him do what he wants. "Oi, Jaeger!" I heard him yell from the kitchen after a while. "Yes?" I sat up on the couch looking to the kitchen. Levi walked out of the kitchen door and looked at me with his normal emotionless face. "You want to have some tea?" I smiled at him and nodded "Yes please". He walked back into the kitchen and a few minutes later he came back with two on a tablett. He put it down ont the couch table and gave me one of the cups. "Thank you" I smiled and Levi sat down next to me with the other cup in his right hand, sighing when h sat down. I cooled the tea down and took a sip. 'It's delicious!' I thought, a smile on my lips. I usually don't drink tea but this one is really good. "Brat" I frowned a little "Not a brat"   "Yes you are"   "No I'm -" I stopped because I knew that discussion was pointless. I calmed down and spoke up again. "What is it?"   Levi looked into his teacup. "How should that work?"   I leaned my head to the right in confusion. "How should work what?"   He sighed again. "This. Why should I stay? What do you want me to do?"   'That's right. Why did I want him to stay here with me? Was there a reason? Maybe because my parents died? No, that's not really it. Because my sister left too? Maybe. I have no friends... Was that it? Guess not. But why? Why then? What do I want him to do?' I thought not answering Levi's question, only debating with myself. But I didn't have an answer.   'Guess he dosen't have an answer for me' Levi thought before he sighed and stood up. "If you can't answer me then I'm going now. See ya maybe"   That's when I was brought back to reality. I jumped up, running after him. I slung my arms around his neck, holding him tight. His back against my chest. "Don't..." I mumbled.   He didn't hear the rest of it but his eyes widened at my actions. "What...was that?" he whispered.   I hugged him tighter resting my head on his his shoulder. "Don't go! Stay wit me! Please!"   I felt him relax and lean into my touch a bit. "But why? Tell me".   This time I didn't need to think about it. "I don't want to be alone, I want you to teach me everything about life and most important..." I trailed off. I didn't knew if it would be a good idea to tell him.   "Go on" he whispered.   "I'm afraid that you might never come back if you leave" I mumbled into his ear and felt how he stiffened, his eyes wide.   We stood there for a while just like that. Levi hasn't answered me yet but I guess it's normal when you tell someone something like that. A few minutes more went by and I just had to do something.   "Levi" I said loosening my grip and turning him around. He looked down and his black hair covered his eyes. He put my hands down from his shoulders, turned around grabbing his jacket and left.   'He just left' I thought, tears forming in my eyes. My knees couldn't hold me anymore and I slumped to the ground, right there where Levi and I had just stood together.   Now I'm alone again, something I wanted to never happen again. But it did and the tears in my eyes now left them, just like Levi left me, streaming down the sides of my face. Kapitel 9: Chapter 9 -------------------- Black. Black? Darkness. Darkness? Why is it so dark? What had happened? I don't like this! I hate darkness so why is everything bl-' my thoughts were interrupted when I hit my head on something hard.   Then I noticed that the darkness came from my closed eyes. I slowly opened them and saw that I was lying in the hallway.   'Must have fallen asleep when Levi-' I shook my head 'Don't think about it' I told myself before standing up and walking into the living room.   '8 pm huh...?' I thought looking at the clock and then walked into the bathroom.   'Holy shit!' I jumped back at the sight in the mirror. My hair was a mess. My eyes red and puffy from crying. My face was as white as chalk even thought I usually have a very tanned skin.   I opened the cupboard over the sink. It still looked the same as one year ago.   And there was the thing I guess I had been looking for. This thing that so many use to help themselves. It's so small but can be so useful. And this thing is the blade of the razor from my dad.         Now there was a pile of blood on the white floor of the bathroom. I sat down by the tube, leaning against it.   'I wonder what my parents would say to this' I thought looking up at the ceiling. 'No, more like what Mikasa would say... I guess she would shout at me I tears and hug me to death'   I chuckled at the thought of my sister. She was always like that. Trying to protect me even thought there was nothing she had to protect me from.   I hugged my knees, the cuts on my wrists painting my jeans red.   The apartment was quiet. Nothing could be heard, like nobody was here. Even my tears were silent.   "I'm alone again" I whispered to myself. "I don't want to be alone anymore... maybe..." looking up I grabbed the blade again. "Maybe I could go to my parents... Then I wouldn't be alone much longer. Mikasa isn't here anyway"   I put the blade to my wrist again, already drawing blood even thought I haven't moved it yet. "Just one little cut" I whispered "and everything will be alright"   Just as I wanted to move it I heard how the bathroom door flew open. I jumped and dropped the blade.   Slowly I looked up with tears streaming down my face.   "You stupid brat" I heard the man growl. "What do you think you're doing, huh?!" he shouted at me, his grey eyes staring into my turquoise ones.   I was shocked.   I couldn't believe what I was see right now. I opened my mouth to say something to him bit I couldn't. I was frozen.   'Levi' was the only thing I thought over and over again until I felt a sharp pain on my left cheek.   "Say something idiot!" he shouted at me with anger but also concern I his eyes.   Nothing would come out of my mouth but I did something without realizing it. I flung my arms around his torsos, clinging to him and digging my nails into his back.   And then my voice came out together with more tears "Levi... Levi!... Levi!" I screamed again and again into his chest. I cried more and more while I heard him sigh and felt him hugging me gently, stroking my hair. "It's okay... Calm down" Levi said after a few minutes. He broke the embrace and looked me in the eyes. He wiped away my tears with another sigh. "Now do me a favour and sit down on the bathtub so that I can take care of your arms".   I nodded and did what he said. He got the first aid kit that was under the sink. He cleaned up my wrists and wrapped them in bandages.   "So why did you do that?" Levi asked while putting the first aid kit back where it belonged to.   "I... You... Well... Uhmm... "   "Forget it" he sighed again and I looked down to my wrists. Levi looked at me for a while before helping me stand up. "How about you sit down in the living room while I make us something to eat?"   I nodded and walked to the living room sitting down on the couch. "Just wait here and relax. I'll come and get you when dinner's ready" I nodded again and watched Levi until he disappeared in the kitchen. Kapitel 10: Chapter 10 ---------------------- "... en... Eren... Eren!" Someone was shaking me. I turned around and opened my eyes sitting up with a yawn. I looked to my left and saw Levi standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. "Finally" he huffed. "Get up brat. Dinner's ready" I jumped up and ran to the table. "You mention food and he's all up" I heard him mumble. He sat down across from me. I sat there trying to hold back with just shoving the food in my mouth. "Just dig in" Levi sighed and I began to happily eat his delicious food. We ate in silence when Levi put down his fork. "Jaeger" he spoke up and looked at him waiting for him to continue. "Why did you just now...". He didn't even have to finish the sentence. I knew exactly what he wanted from me. I put down my fork aswell, looking down at my nearly empty plate. I thought for a moment and felt Levi's gaze on me. "You just left me without another word". It was hardly above a whisper but I knew he heard it very well. His eyes widened a bit as I looked at him with sad eyes. Levi gritted his teeth while averting his eyes and looking down. "When you said that to me" I looked at him but couldn't see his face because it was hidden behind his black hair. "I just couldn't think straight anymore. I... I somehow just wanted to stay by your side and that's why I left". I was totally confused now "But when you wanted to stay by my side then why did you leave? I don't get it". He paused and then continued still hiding his face behind his bangs. "I had to do something. Quick. So I left and went to my apartment, getting some things before coming back here with them. If it's okay then I'll be staying here for the time being". I was shocked about what I was hearing "O-Of course you can stay but why didn't you just say something instead of leaving without a word?" Now he finally looked me in the eyes. And I could see so much regret in his usually emotionless grey eyes. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know you would react like this and try to kill yourself. Could... Could you forgive me for that?" I could hear on his voice that he wanted nothing more than for me to forgive him. "I..." I looked down and then up at him again with a little smile. "Of course I forgive you Levi. I'm... happy that you came back. I thought you just left me like everyone else did". My smile turned into a sad one. "I wouldn't just leave you. I promised you I would help you and I always keep my promises". At that my smile got brighter again and I also saw a quick small smile on Levi's face. "Let's eat before it gets too cold" he said and started to eat again. So did I. It was silent again but a comfortable silence. After we finished Levi cleaned up of course. I sat down on the couch with a blanket. Tonight there was a movie on TV I wanted to watch. I paused it and waited until Levi came out of the kitchen and sat down beside me. "What movie is that?" he asked looking at the TV. "The hills have eyes" "A shitty horror movie! Why?" "Because!" He rolled his eyes and I started the movie. "Are you okay with horror movies?" "Of course" Halfway through the movie I was so scared that at the next thing that happened I screamed like a girl and hid under the blanket. Levi jumped a bit at my scream "I thought you were okay with this?" "Well... No... I thought I'd try but well... Holy shit... " I didn't come out from under the blanket until I felt Levi shift. I popped my head out from under it and Levi gently ruffled through my hair. "Don't be a baby. It's just a movie" he didn't even look at me. But I looked up at him, smiled and then laid my head down on his lap, continuing to watch the film with him. Somehow I wasn't so scared anymore. Maybe it was because of Levi's hand that was still gently stroking my soft brown locks and his steady calm breathing and heartbeat. I didn't feel alone and scared anymore because Levi's here. Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)