PIku!   von Sareru
                               (TomaPi-OneShots)
================================================================================
                       Kapitel 1: Set Voltage Before Use
                       ---------------------------------


Pi had actually looked forward to this weekend. Sleep-over at Toma's had always
been fun and he'd expected it to be fun this time as well. But somehow he
couldn't even look at Toma. Because his hands were right in front of his face.
Trying to hide the scary pictured in the TV from his eyes. But there were also
those strange sound that made him image things. Darn that Toma! Why did he want
to watch a horror movie? He knew that Pi disliked them. Or actually, 'dislike'
wasn't the right word. 'Abyssal hate' described it way better. He'd watched a
horror movie when he was a small child and he had a busy fantasy. So he still
saw those creatures in his dreams and sometimes he imagined them to be in his
room at night. Already 24 and still afraid of those strange and mostly bad
movies. Nice.
Usually Toma took care not to watch movies with him that were too cruel, but
this time (and Pi really couldn't tell why) Toma didn't seem to care. He
wondered if he'd done something that upset Toma, but they hadn't met for several
weeks already, so he hadn't had a chance to do so.
"You're so stupid, Toma, you know?", Pi said, still hands in front of his face.
"Oh, I know...", he heard Toma giggle.
"Baka...", Pi said.
"Oh, come on, Yamashita. Try it. You should be old enough by now, no?", Toma
said, seeming closer than before.
"You trying to scare me or something?", Pi said, looking through his fingers at
Toma, who'd come slightly closer.
"Gosh, you're such a sissy...", Toma sighed and looked at the screen again.
"I'm not!", Pi cried, his face turning all red in anger. Toma'd accepted it the
whole time. Why did he now make such a big deal out of it? At least he knew he
didn't have to hold it back when he was with Toma. He'd always accepted the way
Pi was and hadn't made fun of him, like the others did.
Suddenly the room went all silent. Was the movie already over? Pi didn't dare to
have a look. What if there were still creepy pictures on the screen?
But then there was a shallow sound, slow getting louder and louder. And suddenly
Pi heard a woman scream at the top of her lungs, right as something was
attacking him aside. He didn't know exactly what it was, but what he knew for
sure was that his scream was even louder than the woman's. He grabbed the hands
that were tickling him in shock, just to find that they were Toma's and he was
laughing a terribly loud laughter.
"What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to kill me or something? What the
hell did I do to you?", Pi asked, and suddenly he felt a tear running down his
cheek.
Had he really been that scared? Okay, he'd screamed his bloody hell out of his
body. But why the hell were there tears in his eyes?
He wanted to wipe it away just to find his hands shaking as well.
"You're trembling...", Toma stated, looking shocked. "I'm sorry, I... I didn't
mean to... I just found it funny, so..."
"But it's not...", Pi said. "So would you please get off of me?", he asked in a
supposed calm voice.
"Ah...", Toma said, just now realizing that he was sitting in Pi's lap.
"Sure..."
Toma sat down next to Pi again and looked at the screen.
Pi tried sitting silently as well, but his body continued trembling and so he
got up.
"I'm gonna get something to drink. You want something, too?", he asked before
Toma shook his head and so he left the room.
Toma's family wasn't at home tonight, so the whole house was dark. Exactly what
Pi needed right now. He put on the lights, trying to diminish darkness as much
as possible. But everywhere he went there were still little dark corners in
which a monster or a criminal could hide. Pi knew this was ridiculous, but his
mind didn't.
He got a glass out of the cupboard, poured some mineral water into it and downed
the water silently.
Just as he put the glass in the sink, two strong arms were embracing him from
behind. Again he screamed at the top of his lungs, until he felt a body pressed
against his from behind. 
"I'm sorry...", Toma whispered.
"Yeah... you should be...", Pi said, panting.
"I don't know why I'm scaring you the whole time. Guess it's because I've missed
you. Don't be mad at me, okay?", Toma said silently and tightened the hug a
bit.
"Yeah, I missed you, too... But I don't scare you to hell just because I missed
you.", Pi stated.  Strange way to say 'I miss you', wasn't it?
"Y-You know... I'm not good in this but...", Toma began.
"Huh? Good in what?", Pi asked and turned his head to look at Toma.
"No!", Toma shouted and turned Pi's head away again. "Look in front of you,
baka!"
Again Pi shivered. "Hey, I told you not to scare me, dammit!"
"I-I know, but... Look, what I'm trying to say is that..."
"What? Wanna apologize? Then do it already."
"No... I... actually I..."
"Oh, just say it already..."
"I l-love... you..."
Silence.
Pi didn't trust his ears. "Hai?"
"Ah, just forget it...", Pi heard Toma say as Toma let go of him and turned to
leave the room.
"No, wait!", Pi exclaimed, turned around and pressed Toma against the wall. He
looked at him, trying to see if he had just heard was really what Toma'd said.
"Say it again.", he demanded.
"I... l-love... you...", Toma stuttered and blushed.
"Really?", Pi asked, looking all calm while his heart was about to stop right
away.
"Yes?" Toma gulped. "Would you please let go of me now?"
"No, why should I? I wanna scare you as well?", Pi said, grinning.
"What? Look, I just confessed and you want to sc-'", Toma said before his lips
were covered by Pi's.
As they parted again, Pi whispered: "So? Scared?" He grinned.
"Sure... Somewhat...", Toma panted.
"Just somewhat? You scared the hell out of me and now you tell me you're just
'somewhat' scared?", Pi pouted.
"Y-Yes?" Now Toma looked a bit more scared already, but not enough.
"Not fair...", Pi stated and slowly let his hand glide under Toma's shirt.
"What... what are you doing?", Toma asked, seeming quite unsure.
"Punishment...", Pi grinned again and stroked the soft skin above Toma's pants.
Toma started moaning instantly was so shocked that he pressed his hand over his
own mouth.
"Are you scared now?", Pi asked again and Toma shook his head.
"Oh well... then...", Pi whispered again and shoved his hand into Toma's
trousers, stroking over the warm cloth of Toma's underwear. He bent down a bit
and whispered into Toma's ear: "Then let's have sex... right here."
Toma stared at him with wide-open eyes. “"R-right here... now? But..."
"Are you scared now?", Pi asked a third time and looked at Toma with a kinda
angry face.
Toma just nodded and looked to the ground.
Pi smiled. With his hand he lifted Toma's chin up but Toma still avoided his
gaze.
"Mischief managed...", he whispered into Toma's ear.
"Huh?", he heard Toma say as he raised his eyes to look at him.
"Sorry, joke. I won't have sex with you now, you see?", Pi said, still smiling.
"No, I don't see... I confessed and you made fun of me, that's all I see. I'm
sorry...", Toma said angrily, escaping Pi's grip and turned to go back to his
room, where the TV still showed a scary picture of a half-dead.
"Wait!", Pi said, gripping Toma's arm right as he caught sight of the TV.
"Buah!", he said loudly, gulped and turned away again, not letting go of Toma.
"What?!", Toma said angrily and turned to face Pi.
"Actually I... love you, too.", Pi said, still not able to face Toma properly.
"Now would you... please close the door?"
Pi loosened his grip on Toma's arm, holding his hand instead and intertwined
their fingers.
Toma smiled, closed the door cautiously and turned to kiss Pi lightly.
"I love you.", he whispered and smiled.
"I love you, too...", Pi whispered back, laid his free hand on Toma's cheek and
pulled him closer. "And don't scare me like that again, okay?"
"Maybe."



                               Kapitel 2: See Me
                               -----------------


Title: See Me
Pairing: PIku [alias TomaPi ]
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Rating: R
Author: Sareru
Disclaimer: I SO wish I would own those two gorgeous boys, but wtf...
Soundtrack: Owl City - Fireflies
Notes: Inspired by a poor soul who confessed to a friend of mine per IM and she
sent me the whole conversation ~ good luck on your next target, mister megane!
Interview translations taken from tomalicious' translation of '4000' (seventeen
080601): thanks so much, guys!



See Me


“You know, there's something I didn't tell you...”, Yamapi began, trying to
not look like a fool. Toma was sitting in front of him across the table in his
room and was enjoying the delicate flavor of a hamburger. He looked up.
“What?”
“I... how should I tell you when you're looking at me like this?”, Yamapi
said. And really, Toma'd tried to put as much of the hamburger in his mouth as
possible and he had ketchup all over his face. “You look awful...”
Pi bent over to wipe away some of the ketchup on his face, when Toma looked at
him with the most innocent expression Pi ever saw on his face. Pi was near
jumping Toma and kissing him all over his body, but he was able to get a hold of
himself again and so he drew away with his hand again and sucked on his thumb,
which was full of ketchup.
As Toma was almost able to talk without spitting he said: “What did you want
to tell me?”, still fighting with the fact that little crumbs of the
hamburger's buns were about to leave his mouth.
“A... I... I just meant the ketchup... in your face...”, Yamapi said and bit
into his own burger. How should he tell Toma? This wasn't the right moment. But
when was it about to come? He'd already waited for so long, and he almost
couldn't bear it anymore.

In the night Yamapi was lying next to Toma on a futon, looking at the sleeping
guy beside him. Sleep-overs were rare these days and so they used to sleep
side-by-side on the ground, although Toma had his own bed so they could talk
themselves into sleep. Or at least it was so for Toma. Pi actually was perfectly
awake and stared at the moonlit face beside him. He was still thinking of him,
every second and he didn't know how to fight this. And part of him didn't even
want to fight. This part wanted to tell Toma right now, kiss him and make love
to him. But the other side knew that Toma didn't feel as he did, they wouldn't
be able to be the same as they were before. Their behavior towards each other
would change for sure. And how would Pi be able to bear that? To lose his best
friend, whom he already knew for ages? He couldn't. And he still had hope that
Toma maybe felt the same.

The next day Toma looked outside the window. It was still spring and the last
cherry blossoms were falling to the ground.
“Today's the 11th anniversary... of Hide-san's death.”, Toma said, looking
outside the window with a terrible expression on his face.
“I know... You told me yesterday.”, Pi said, watching him. He knew that
expression well. It meant that Toma was about to cry sooner or later. He'd
always been a cry-baby and he still was. Though he hadn't cried for Hide last
year.
“You... maybe want to watch the DVD again?”, Pi asked, trying to cheer him
up a little.
“Ah... no, thanks... I'm okay.”, Toma said, looking at him again with an
obviously faked smile.
Toma came back to the small desk again and sat down next to Pi.
“You know... It's the same date as the day grandpa died.”, Toma said
further, his faked smile vanished again. “He used to drag us to hanami,
remember? Every year we would sit in some park, chat and eat mum's food. We
didn't do that this year.”
Pi knew it. There'd been something else.
“I miss him...”, Toma said, lying back in the ground, eyes closed. Slowly a
single teardrop searched it's way down Toma's face.
Before Pi knew what he was doing he bent over Toma, slowly approaching him and
softly covered Toma's lips with his own.
But as fast as Pi had gained consciousness again, as much he regretted it.
Because he couldn't stop any more. Tasting Toma's lips was just too sweet. So he
stayed like this a little longer.
Until Toma pushed him away a little.
“What... are you doing?”, he said, his eyes wide open in shock.
Pi drew away again and looked at the wall.
“I... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have...”, he mumbled. “I just wanted
to...”
But he decided that it was better not to talk any more.
“I guess... you should go now...”, Toma suggested, still lying on the floor,
strongly refusing to look at Pi right now.
“Yeah... I guess so, too... See ya...”, Pi said, grabbing his bag, which was
already packed and hurriedly left the house.
“What have I done? How could I? Why?”, was all Pi mumbled on his drive home.
He'd known it all along, right? From now on everything would change. This was
what he'd wanted the least.

Yamapi was actually supposed to spend this day and the next at Toma's as well
but due to those unlucky circumstances he decided to spend his free days at
home, doing nothing and pitying himself. He knew how pathetic this was but since
he'd just lost his best friend he deserved at least a little sadness to spend
his time on.
Sitting on the bed he read through old articles about Toma and Pi, losing
himself in thoughts.
“Even amongst the Jr.s it feels like we were already together before I
realized it.”, Toma'd written. Pi remembered how much he'd laughed at this
sentence for sounding so queer. But now he treasured it so much that he deeply
regretted laughing.
“In the small hotel bathtubs, one of us would be in front and the other
behind.”, he read further. They'd bathed together so many times during concert
tours that he wasn't able to count any more. He'd enjoyed it, but understood why
they had gradually stopped taking baths together. It was was children did, but
not grown-up men.
But fuzzing about likely unimportant things like that didn't help about the fact
that it wouldn't be like that again. And as if the weather felt like Pi, it
started to rain.

Somewhen in the evening Pi guessed he should grab something to eat, though he
wasn't particularly hungry. But as he opened the fridge he realized that it was
thoroughly empty.
“Shit...”, he whispered, grabbing his jacket and slipped into his shoes.
Just as he opened the door he suddenly looked into a pair of dark brown eyes.
“Oh... hi...”, Toma said, taking a step back.
“H-Hi...”, Pi answered, blushing. As he looked at Toma closely, he saw that
his clothes were drenched in water.
“C-Come in or you'll catch a cold.”, he demanded and opened the door widely
so Toma could step through it. As Toma was inside, Pi closed the door again and
hurried into the bathroom to get a towel. “Here.”
“Thanks...”, Toma mumbled, took it and dried his hair after getting rid of
his jacket.
Yamapi watched him the whole time and as he'd finished Pi asked cautiously:
“Why are you here? You... told me to go... earlier...”
“I know...”, Toma answered. “But... can we go inside first? I don't think
this is an appropriate place to talk.”, Toma said, his face unreadable.
“Sure.” As Pi lead the way to the living room he was able to look at Toma.
He wondered what he was thinking right now, but he was still afraid that he
would tell him to never see him again.
“Have a seat.”, Pi said and sat down on the couch, Toma sitting down next to
him.
Neither of them talked but they just stared at the huge TV silently.
Just as Pi wanted to break the silence and speak up, Toma took his hand and
leaned his head on Yamapi's shoulder.
“What...”, Pi began confused, but was interrupted by Toma.
“Don't talk... Just for one moment, okay?”
Pi gulped, then nodded quietly.
Having Toma by his side, holding his hand and leaning on him like that make his
heart beat so fast that Pi was afraid it would burst every moment.
This time Toma began to talk.
“I just... wanted to see how it feels like to be with you like that.”
Pi gulped again. “And?”
“Feels nice.”
Pi's heart skipped a beat. “So?”
“Dunno. I... I'd like to stay like this a little longer, if you don't
mind.”, Toma stated.
“Okay”, Pi croaked. His throat had gone hoarse from trying to hold back from
pushing Toma back into the pillows and forcing kisses over Toma's whole body.
Just then Toma lifted his free hand and placed it on Pi's chest.
“You know... I sometimes imagined being with you like that. Kissing you. But
this was just thinking. I never thought about really falling for you or
something. But now... I've been thinking about this the whole day.”
Pi wanted to say something but he didn't know what, and after all anything he
said would sound stupid.
“I'd like to... try it again... kissing.”
This time Pi turned his head to look at Toma.
“What... what are you saying? 'Try'... this isn't just a game or something,
you know? This is serious.”, Pi said, afraid that Toma just played a cruel
joke.
“I hope so...”, Toma said before he lifted his head and gently kissed
Yamashita's lips.
Pi was torn apart by fear and pleasure, but gradually pleasure took over his
body and he closed his eyes.
“Toma...” was all he could say as his counterpart drew away again, unable to
open his eyes right now. Soon he could feel Toma's lips on his again and this
time they weren't as gentle, but at the same time more passionate. Toma
carefully pushed Pi back into the small group of pillows on Pi's couch, placing
himself on him.
Pi repeated saying Toma's name each and every time the other man drew away to
catch some air. Slowly Pi's hands searched for Toma's face and as they found it
caressed Toma's smooth cheeks. Yamashita remembered Toma talking about them on
TV, saying that they were the probably best part about his body, and he had to
laugh a little.
“What is it?”, Toma demanded to know, but Pi just smiled at him and stroked
Toma's cheeks lovingly. “It's nothing... sorry to interrupt.”
Although Toma didn't get his answer, he smiled as well and whispered:
“Tomohisa...” as he bent down again and kissed Yamashita's collar bone. The
latter silently moaned on this and looked at Toma, surprised.
“Toma, what...?”
“I'm fine with it as long as you are... Tomohisa.”, Toma said.
“Fine with what?”, Pi demanded to know.
“Being in love with you.”
“Did you... did you just confess or what?”, Pi asked, grinning.
“I guess so.”, Toma answered.
“You know...”, Yamashita laughed, “You should do this properly. Come on,
get up!”
Pi pushed Toma back a little and sat up again, looking deeply into Toma's eyes.
“Now watch and learn, okay?”, Pi demanded.
Toma nodded, sitting up properly.
Pi looked at Toma for a moment and then in a low voice said: “I love you,
Ikuta Toma.”
“I love you, too, Yamashita Tomohisa.”, Toma said without hesitation,
smiling happily.
“And you're sure about this?”, Pi asked.
“Yes, I am sure about this.”, Toma answered, nodding seriously.
“Good.”, Pi said, before he leaned in and kissed Toma again, feeling so
endlessly lucky and happy and whatever expression there was for this feeling. He
guessed this was what you called 'being in love'.

Only moments later they found themselves on Pi's bed, some clothes already
missing. As Pi carefully removed Toma's trousers, he said: “Ew, all wet.”
“Guess I am...”, Toma replied, grinning.
Pi looked at him for a second in confusion, the laughed, threw the trousers in
some corner of the room and climbed up to meet Toma's face again.
“Baka”, he said, still grinning, and kissed his beloved again. Latter slowly
removed Pi's shirt, kissing the just uncovered skin. Pi was enjoying every
second.
As they'd gotten rid of all those disturbing clothes Pi suddenly stopped.
“What is it?”, Toma asked, worried.
“I... do you really want to do this? Because... for this kind of thing I'm
missing... supplies.”, Pi said, blushing a bit.
“Oh... Oh!”, Toma said, just realizing what Pi was trying to say. “That's
too bad, isn't it?” He still smiled. “Then... let's try something...
different.”, Toma continued, gently caressing he sensitive skin above Pi's
length. Immediately Pi moaned, closing his eyes again in pleasure.
“Actually... You'd suppose I'd be the more active one, deshou?”, Pi said,
grinning by his temporary possibilities. First he hesitated, but then put his
hand on Toma's inner thigh, causing the other man to sigh his name.
They continued petting each other, kissing and sighing, always focusing on the
other one. Until they were so aroused that their hands didn't want to move in an
even rhythm any longer. So they removed their hands and moved against each
other, repeating their names over and over again, until Pi came , embraced by
Toma's thighs. He wanted to break down on the other man, but Toma still had to
solve his own case. So Pi gently touched Toma's length and stroked it until also
Toma came, Tomohisa's first name on his lips.

Pi let himself fall beside Toma, putting his arms around the older man.
“Are you still fine with being on love with me? Next time may be not as
comfortable as this. Even with the... supplies.”, Pi said, laughing at that
silly word.
“Yes... I'm even more sure than before.”, Toma said, smiling and kissing Pi
lightly.
“Then I guess I should get a smoke as ask you how I was?”
Both of them laughed, then went silent again.
“I love you.”, Pi said.
“I know.”, Toma replied. “You don't have to repeat it over and over
again.”
“But I like saying it. It feels nice. And having you say it feels even
nicer.”, Pi said, looking at Toma and seeming to wait for something.
“What? You want me to say it now?”, Toma said, grinning.
“Yes. You got a problem with that?”
“Maybe, maybe not. But only after you get me something to get this off.” He
pointed at Pi's belly, which still had that white liquid on it. “I guess I
have to get used to this first.”
“Me, too. What the hell do you think I am?”, Pi asked, grinning.
“I think you're a hot gay guy who fully belongs to me from now on.”
Pi just returned with a now clean belly, lay down beside Toma again and said:
“I always belonged to you. You just didn't see it.”
“Oh look, a firefly!”, Toma suddenly blurted out.
“Huh? Where?”, Pi wondered, looking around.
“Right here.”, Toma said, pointing at Yamashita and grinning, before he bent
over and blew into Pi's ear gently.
“Ah~...”, Pi sighed, holding his ear in pleasure.
Toma laughed. “So it still works.”
“Hey...”, Pi pouted. “You want to touch my knees or something?”
Toma giggled at that. “Then maybe you should get the 'supplies' first, no?”
Pi thought about that for a moment, but then shook his head.
“No, next time. I guess I'm not patient enough to wait until we get that
now.”, Pi grinned and put Toma's hand on one of his knees.
“Did you actually know that I've got a hand fetish?”, Pi said, stroking the
hand that was caressing his own knee right now.
“Oh... no, I didn't. But I've got time from now on, right? And at least I know
this.”, Toma said before gently blowing into Pi's ear again.
“Toma...”, Pi sighed again and patted Toma's chest.
“I love you.”, Toma said.
“I love you, too.”



                        Kapitel 3: I can't dance alone
                        ------------------------------


Title: I can't dance alone
Pairing: PIku [alias TomaPi ]
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Author: Sareru
Disclaimer: I SO wish I would own those two gorgeous boys, but wtf...
Soundtrack: Giovanni & Ross Antony - I can't dance alone
Notes: Since it was time for another oneshot *yay!* So this is 'short & sweet'
>3


I can't dance alone

"Concerts got decided for me...", Yamashita said at the phone, leaving Toma
stunned and happy and in a totally hyper voice he said "I'll come watch!",
giggling like a middle-schooler.
There was a short pause until Yamashita said "Be in it."
Now Toma was so stunned that he didn't know what to say. "Are... are you sure
about this? I mean... it would be great... we'd always talked about being
together on stage again, but... Are you serious?"
"Sure I am, why not? Come on, let's get the fans hyperventilating again like
back then!"
Toma started laughing happily. "Sure, let's discuss things at dinner, 'kay? How
about tonight?"
"Er... tonight's a little... tomorrow?", Yamashita said in an awkward voice.
"Sure, sure. Usual place at 9?"
"Roger that. See ya."
"Ciao."

When Toma got back home he instantly moved to his TV and got out some old videos
his mother had recorded. He was looking through their old performances and
remembered how much fun they'd had back then. Seeing each other every day felt
like heaven to him now. And he would be able to see his best friend more often
in the following month. Smiling, he watched the Yokubou no Rain performance
where they'd worn those awkward leather clothes and remembered that this was the
last performance they'd done without knowing that Yamapi would have to leave
4TOPS to debut with NEWS. Sure, they were told one year in advance but that's
the way Johnny used to do things. After all he'd have to tell the Volleyball
guys who'd sing their new theme song in the following season.
Toma remembered how shocked he was and how sad and how he wanted to fight
Johnny's decision but Yamashita held him back and told him that it was too late
already and that he should not risk his own career for him. Toma knew how much
Yamashita'd hated to be separated from his best friend, but he also knew that
Yamashita would always try to make the best out of every situation coming up.
And he decided to try as well. For himself, for his career and most of all for
his best friend who he wanted to support no matter what. And that was the only
thing he could do for Yamashita. And it turned out to be not that bad after all.
He was about to release his first movie soon, in the middle of shootings for
more movies and dramas, even if he hadn't debuted yet, he was proud to be part
of Johnny's Entertainment, grateful to have been able to meet so many good
friends. And they weren't totally separated. They still wrote mails and
supported each other, even if they weren't able to meet every day. And now they
were able to perform together in a concert again. Yamashita's first solo
concert. and Toma would go and support him, no matter what.

The next night Toma waited for his best friend at a small Ramen restaurant,
where they used to go every time they met. Toma sat in the back at a small
Japanese table where you're supposed to take off your shoes and where they had
small wooden walls around them so they weren't found out too easily.
When Yamashita arrived and sat down, he was grinning all over his face and his
grin even wouldn't vanish as the old lady arrived to take their orders.
"You look like you'd just seen an angel.", Toma was teasing Yamashita as the old
lady left.
"Oh, you could say that.", Yamashita answered, grinning. "No, seriously. I'm so
glad I got you to be in the concerts, I'm about to burst. We've been talking
about that so often and now it's finally coming true."
As Yamashita lifted the water glass and led it to his mouth, Toma said
"ConcertS?"
"Sure...", Yamashita answered, the glass still high in the air. "I want you to
be in all of the shows. So it would be... our... tour... What's up?", Yamashita
asked as he saw Toma's troubled face.
"I... I can't... You see, I still have lots of shooting and promotion and
everything and... I really want to come to each and every of your shows, but...
I can't...", Toma said, his eyes fixed on the glass between his hands.
"Oh... I... I see...", Yamashita said, thinking for a moment. "But... you can
make it at least for one show, right?"
"Yes", Toma answered, smiling. "And it'll be the best and most memorable of all,
right?", Toma said, grinning encouragingly.
"Right", Yamashita agreed and smiled a little.

They spent the rest of the night discussing dates and details like the songs
they would perform together. Choosing the songs didn't take too long since they
both immediately came up with Kinki's Yokubou no Rain.
When they'd finished, Yamashita said: "Let me drive you home, you came by train
again, right?"
"Ah... I guess you're right.", Toma said, grinning. It had always been like
that. Somehow they happened to still know each other by heart, even though they
weren't together that often. "And you knew I would take the train, so you left
your mommy-bike at home and got your tiny car out, right?" Toma laughed.
Yamashita always thought about how funktional things should be that somehow he
ended up with really unstylish stuff like his bike or the car. Even painting it
pink wouldn't have helped about that fact [what he luckily hadn't done].

When they reached Toma's home, both of them got out and moved towards the front
door.
"Wanna come in? I'm sure mom would love to see you again. It's really been a
while since you last came here.", Toma asked.
"Ah... no, I think I'll leave. Lot's of work tomorrow. And I think your family's
in their beds already, it's all dark inside.", Yamashita answered, grinning.
As Toma looked at the dark windows, he said: "Oh... you~ might be right..." He
laughed. "Then... what about a drink? Ah, no... work... sorry..." He grinned.
"No problem.", Yamashita said, laughing as well. Then he sighed. "Well then...
I'm really happy we were given the chance to perform together again. Since we've
waited so long..." He smiled. "Oyasumi..."
"Oyasumi", Toma said, closing the distance between them and hugging his best
friend. After a short moment Yamashita also put his arms around Toma and lightly
pressed his cheek against Toma's, breathing in deeply. "You're still wearing the
same perfume like that little brat.", Yamashita said and moved away again, a
strange expression on his face.
"Yeah, I just thought it would be a waste if I wouldn't use up the whole thing
when I already paid for it."
"Ah... makes sense...", Yamashita said, smiling again. "Well then, oyasumi."
"Oyasumi", Toma repeated and turned, opening the door and Yamashita got back
into the car and started the motor just as Toma closed the door again.


Two weeks later was the day they'd chosen for dancing rehearsals and they
arrived together early that day, feeling all hyper and ready to start. Having
rehearsed all day, they still didn't want to stop, so they went through they
steps once more even as the coach'd already left the jimusho. They'd actually
already run out of power hours ago, but they still laughed hardly as they found
each other making mistakes.
As Toma watched Yamashita ruin one of his favorite steps again, he stepped
towards him and tried to teach him the right way to do it, as it had always been
a habit of his. Since it was a matter of how to move your hips, Toma just
grabbed Yamashita's and pulled him closer, making it look like a hot dance on a
public dancefloor by midnight. Yamashita seemed stunned for a moment since Toma
hadn't lost a word about what he'd done wrong again, but soon joined in the
constant hip-moving.
"Say... have you ever learned how to do a waltz?", Toma asked suddenly,
convinced that Yamashita would be able to do this right after some clearing of
mind.
"Eh? Er... no, why?", Yamashita asked, confused.
"Then let's do it, okay? It's fun, even if it doesn't look like it. They were
teaching us during Hana Kimi and afterwards we'd fill the breaks with awkward
ways of dancing a waltz." Toma let go of Yamashita's hips and got back a step.
Then he bowed deeply, holding out his hand towards Yamashita and said "Shall we
dance?"
"You look awkward in that baggy trousers, you know?", Yamashita said, taking
Toma's hand slowly. Toma got up again and put Yamashita's free hand on his
shoulder, then his own on Yamashita's back.
"Now, take on step back and to the side. Now one step forth and to the other
side again. Right. And now repeat without shuffle.", Toma said, grinning.
"Haha", Yamashita said, watching his steps so he wouldn't accidentally step on
Toma's feet.
"Hey, keep your eyes up. It looks awkward when you look down all the time. And
makes your partner feel like he doesn't exist. So don't stare down my baggy
pants but my perfect cheeks instead, okay?"
Yamashita looked up, but didn't watch Toma's cheeks. He'd locked his stare into
Toma's as they moved around and fell silent again. Just as Yamashita opened his
mouth he stepped on Toma's foot, which made them stumble and as Toma lost
balance he drew Yamashita with him down on the dancefloor.

"A~h, I'm sorry.", Yamashita said, trying to get off of Toma's body, but it had
turned out that Toma had hugged Yamashita so tightly that his back hadn't even
touched the ground as Yamashita had caught himself with his hands.
As Toma was sure that they'd stopped falling he let go of Yamashita again and
slowly let himself sink onto the floor, looking up.
"I guess you should practise some more, right?", Toma said, grinning.
"I... guess so, too...", Yamashita said, an absent expression in his eyes.
"But... I need someone to practise with me, you know? Because... I can't dance
alone.", Yamashita said as he slowly bent down and lightly pressed his forehead
on Toma's.
"You can really only make it that one day? I'm... starting to feel like it'd be
such a waste..."
"Yeah... I'm sorry..."
"What about Osaka?", he asked, seeming slightly desperate.
Toma sighed.
"Yeah, I'm sorry... I know... but..."
Yamashita slowly let his body sink beside Toma's and he put an arm over Toma's
chest.
"I'm so tired.", he said.
"Yeah", Toma said, not knowing what else to answer. Yamashita was behaving
strange lately, didn't he? But he was his closest friend after all. They were
like brothers. And Yamashita would only dare to let himself go like that if he
was around.

When the day of the show arrived, they entered the Yokohama arena and Yamashita
immediately went all hyper again as he saw the lots of staff-sans and the carts
and lots of merchandise being piled up and all of that was just because he was
here to perform tonight. Toma grinned on the sight of Yamashita's happy face,
for he knew how much Yamashita had wished for this to come true one day.
"This is gonna be our big night.", he said to Toma during a soundcheck break.
"No, your big night. This is your concert and I'm just the long awaited guest.",
Toma replied, grinning.
"True...", Yamashita said, grinning as well. "Ah~ I'm nervous. This doesn't feel
like NEWS' concerts at all." He laughed.
"Haha! Gonna run, cry-baby?", Toma said, teasing him like he'd done years ago
before their performances on Shokura.
"No! This is what I've been waiting and training for for what seems like forever
to me... or at least since I've been... separated from 4TOPS.", he said, looking
at Toma with a nostalgic expression in his eyes.
"I know, man." Toma patted Yamashita's back, smiling knowingly.

Right before the show started Toma paid a last visit to his best friend in the
dressing room, seeing him almost freak out in front of the enormous mirror hung
up at the wall.
"Hey... ready?", Toma asked cautiously.
"No, not really...", Yamashita said, laughing a little. "I mean... it finally
begins."
"Yeah... that's great. And it's not like it's the only concert you'll be giving,
right? So cheer up a little, will you?"
"I know... but it's the only one you'll be able to see. There should've been
more... such a waste.", Yamashita said, laughing. "Right?"
"Right" Toma sighed. "Come on, I'll buy the DVD, okay?"
"If there will be one. It's not decided yet." He sighed, but then again grinned.
"I guess I have to give it to you as a 'thank you for coming'-present."
"Oh right, how could I forget about that?", Toma said, fumbling in his pockets.
"Ha, found it."
"What, what?", Yamashita asked curiously, looking at Toma's hands.
Toma got out a small shiny thing and Yamashita recognized the silver necklace
they'd bought years ago and both had worn for years now.
"You forgot this at my place weeks ago and I forgot to bring it the last few
times we met. So you could see this as your lucky day. And don't you dare making
any mistakes!", Toma said, grinning.
Yamashita took it, looking at the necklace for a while and then said: "Would you
help me with that?"
"Ah, I'd love to but it's broken. That's why you probably lost it at my home.",
Toma said, sighing silently.
"Oh... I see..."
Toma didn't want Yamashita to look that sad any longer, so he took the necklace
and put it in Yamashita's back pocket, clapping his butt as he was finished.
"Don't lose it again, okay?" Toma giggled and went towards the door again, but
Yamashita grabbed his wrist and stopped him.
"Everything's going to be great, right?", he asked in a low voice.
"Sure, I'm here after all." Toma turned around and pulled Yamashita into a tight
embrace. "Don't worry, okay? What would your fans say if they saw you like that?
And I'm your biggest fan after all... well, maybe right after your mom. And we
all want you to cheer up and rock the house tonight, all right? And try to talk
not that much nonsense, okay?" Toma giggled and so did Yamashita, who'd returned
the embrace.
"You're right. Yosha~! This is gonna be our big night and we'll rock the house
and make the fans drool and faint and I-don't-know! ... right after I've paid a
last visit to the restroom."
Toma laughed, released his best friend and said left to enter a small room on
the back. "See ya later!", Toma shouted after him and finally left to take his
seat in the great hall.

When it was Toma's turn to enter the stage he fans started screaming and he
stood back-stage for a moment just to enjoy the screams and then started to run
towards Yamashita while the fans screamed even louder.
They performed their Yokubou no Rain and when Yamashita messed up the lyrics
Toma tried not to laugh since they were still on stage and he didn't want his
friend to get nervous again.
When they'd finished the song Toma stayed on-stage for two more songs and during
the Colorful performance he rode one of the carts and greeted the fans while
sometimes looking at Yamashita who did a great job again. When they got off the
carts Toma stepped towards Yamashita and embraced him encouragingly, saying "I'm
really proud of you." and though he couldn't see Yamashita's smile, he could
hear him whispering "Thank you" and feel Yamashita's breath on his skin as
Yamashita nuzzled his head in Toma's neck.

After the concert Yamashita and Toma met with the staff and went to eat in an
expensive place and talked about the performance and how great it was and how
loud the screams of the fans were. When most of the staff had already left,
Yamashita and Toma excused themselves and went outside to walk through the park
like they'd used to to years ago.
"You've messed up the lyrics in Yokubou. I didn't expect that.", Toma said,
laughing.
"Yeah, I know. I didn't expect that as well. It's just that... maybe... the
emotions got to strong."
"I see. I can imagine some of the fans fainting. When we were riding the carts I
saw some of them crying. It sent shivers through my whole bod-..." But Toma
couldn't finish his sentence as Yamashita suddenly pulled him closer and lightly
toughed Toma's lips with his own.

Weeks after that Toma had an interview for one of those numerous magazines and
while they were talking about the Short But Sweet Concert the reporter asked:
"What kind of relationship is it between you and Yamashita Tomohisa-san?"
Toma thought for a moment, then laughed and finally said:
"It's a complex one."

~~~~~
my 'complex' inspiration:
"This is about last year already, but I got to be in Yamashita’s solo concert.
When Yamashita called me and said “Concerts got decided for me,” I said
“I’ll come watch,” and then he said “Be in it.” The show I was in was
the first one on November 21st, but it seems his original plan was to get me to
be in all of his shows. Even on the last day before the real shows, he’d say
“You can really only make tomorrow?“ “I’m starting to feel like it’d
be such a waste,” “What about Osaka?” during the meetings. My schedule
wouldn’t work out, so it ended up being just one show, but I think things like
these are just right when you feel “there should’ve been more, such a
waste” (laughs). We immediately decided to do Yokubou no Rain, a KinKi Kids
song we used to sing together. I didn’t want it to seem like I was there just
for the hell of it, so we took an entire day for the dance lessons, and on the
actual day, I was there from the rehearsals to the soundcheck. Despite all this,
Yamashita messed up the lyrics! I tsukkomi’ed him afterwards, and he said
“The emotions just got too strong…” True, we’d always said “We should
do something together,” and I had a lot of fun too. But more than anything,
what made me happy was seeing Yamashita make his wish of having solo concerts
come true. Because I know what it took and how much effort it took to get there.
The relationship between me and Yamashtia? Mm~, I get asked this a lot, but my
answer is always “It’s a complex one.” He’s my friend, he’s like
family too, and he’s a childhood friend and a workmate. Well, let’s just say
I went to help boost the temperature for Yamashita this time (laughs)." (taken
from princess-rei09@lj, thx a bunch for this )



                            Kapitel 4: #7 - Friend
                            ----------------------


Prompt table: #7 - Friend
Author: Sareru
Rating: PG
Genre: slight Angst (?)
Soundtrack: Vanessa Carlton – A thousand miles
Notes: so try number 2 on my prompt xD yoroshiku ne  tomapi-time again! Yay!
oh, and please be gentle, cuz my dear beta's left me behind and went into
vacation xD


Friend


“Let's be together forever!” This was what they'd agreed on in an
interview.
“If we talk about love, in the end it’ll turn into joking around.”, was
what Toma had stated back in 1999.
“A long history together.” Again Toma.
“Ikuta-kun, I have to take this chance to apologize to you. Even though
you’re my sempai, I’m always crossing the line.” This time Yamashita.
“Even though I’m like this…please continue to wake me up when I’m
asleep.” And again.

In their Junior days they'd been so lively and sound, but then the big change
came running.

Yamashita was told to be in the “1 month temporary unit”, News. It hadn't
been a big to neither him or Toma, since they'd thought they were to continue as
4TOPS after that 1 month. But fate wasn't calling upon them.

“I'm... you know...”, Yamashita sighed on the phone, talking to his friend.
“Ah... how should I start this?”
“Doesn't matter, just go ahead. It can't be that bad, right?”, Toma said in
a chipper voice on the other end.
“Actually... yes... it can.”, Yamashita mumbled, a long pause following.
“Yamashita? What... what do you mean?”, Toma asked, worried.
“This... this 'News' thing, it's... not... temporary... you see?”, Yamashita
pressed out between his lips.
“What? No... that's not true, right? You're just joking...”, Toma replied,
laughing nervously. “Right?”
“Toma...”
Toma's voice had dropped dead. Yamashita leaving him behind? That couldn't be.
That's not what the two had been planning. They'd agreed on graduating from
Juniors together. Not Yamashita first, with some random kouhais put together to
form a group.
“Where... are you now?”, Toma asked, gulping right after the sentence.
“Eh? I'm... I'm home... Why? … Toma?”
But Toma wouldn't answer. He'd cut off the call and put the phone in some random
pocket in his trousers, starting to run like a lunatic. During the run he was
bumping into numerous people, not looking where he went. He couldn't even take a
calm seat in the train but either got up again or let his foot bump on the
ground in a constant agitated rhythm. Trying to coordinate his feelings? Failed.
He didn't even know if he was angry or sad or both or none. All he knew was that
this news was extremely disturbing and that he had to meet Yamashita. Now.

So he even started to run in the train in the direction of the exit he had to
take at the station. Almost falling outside the train and in the tiny gap
between the train and the ground, he left the vehicle and hurried towards the
exit, almost running into a police officer.

Just as he'd left the station, Yamashita called again.
But Toma wasn't paying attention to the vibration or the tone. All he could
think of was running.
As he'd finally reached Yamashita's house, he ran towards the door, punching his
fists against the wooden entrance and crying Yamashita's name.
As his friend opened the door and looked at him in confusion, Toma had already
taken a step inside and continued punching against Yamashita's chest.
“You idiot! Why?!”, he cried. “Graduating without me! Is that how you
treat your sempai? And moreover I'm your friend, dammit!”
Toma continued punching but Yamashita eventually cold a hold of his arms and
forced Toma to look into his eyes, speaking up again.
“You've... promised that we'll be together forever. Remember?”, he sobbed.
“Toma...”, Yamashita said, desperately searching for words to calm the other
boy down.
“Don't leave me... what am I supposed to do without you? We've been together
for so long already... I don't think that... I can...”, Toma said and tried to
go on but couldn't.
His words gave way to the sobbing and crying he'd tried to suppress for so long
already and he leaned his head against Yamashita's shoulder, his hands grabbing
he other boy's shirt tightly.
“Shh...”, the other boy whispered, hugging Toma gently. “It's okay... cry
if you feel to.”
Yamashita pulled Toma inside and closed the door, finally leaning on the wall
with a crying Toma in his arms, patting his hair lightly and whispering soothing
words into his ear.
After a while the heavy shaking of Toma's body had stopped and the sobbing had
turned into a light sniffing, but still the older one was clinging onto
Yamashita tightly.
“I... hate Johnny... if I can't be with you anymore... then there's no reason
for me to stay any longer. I'll leave. “, Toma mumbled.
“Don't be silly, Toma! You can't. What would Jimmy and the others think? And
didn't you want to stay in showbiz forever? There's no chance if you're against
Johnny and aren't successful yet. So stop saying that, okay?”, Yamashita tried
to convince him, still rocking from the right to the left side lightly.
“Yama-...”
“Okay? Promise!”, Yamashita insisted.
Toma thought for a while, then nodded lightly, whispering: “Okay...”
“Okay...” Yamashita smiled. “And we're still friends after all, right?”
“Yeah...”, Toma said, pulling back now and wiping his wet face with the back
of his hand. “Friends. Forever, right?”
“Forever.”, Yamashita smiled and so they got upstairs and to get a cup of
tea to celebrate Yamashita's graduating from Juniors. As friends.


A/N:
ah~ i'd planned on writing some really~ desperate smut but failed *drops*
next time definitely! òó
A/N2:
and DAMMIT! this isn't even slight romance, wtf? DX'



                            Kapitel 5: #13 - Borrow
                            -----------------------


Prompt table: #13 - Borrow
Author: Sareru
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance
Soundtrack: Timmy Rough – Let's borrow this night
Notes: so this time the number was decided by a fellow student from university
xD yoroshiku ne 
this song makes me feel like writing something ro~mantic instead of smutty again
|D will I ever be able to write a good smut again? XD
[Shachou = boss]


Borrow


“Let's lay the futons side-by-side!”, Toma'd exclaimed as he and Yamashita
were arranging Toma's room for the upcoming sleep-over.
“But your mum will start picking on us again.”, Yamashita pouted.
“So what? Then let's just shut the door or something. It's just mum after
all!”, Toma said.
“I hope I've heard wrong!”, his mum exclaimed, suddenly bumping open the
door in a very Toma-like manner. “Arrange those futons however you like it,
kids. At least I don't have to sleep in this messy room. Good night, guys!”
And with that she closed the door again, protecting herself from possible verbal
attacks.

“Ah... I think she's right.”, Yamashita laughed as the door'd fallen shut.
“Hey, mine looks way better than yours, got it?”, Toma pouted and shoved the
two futons together so that there wasn't even one hand-width in-between.

Half an hour later they'd jumped into their pajamas and were covered by the
heavy white blankets.
“Ne, Toma... do you think we'll be able to debut together?”, Yamashita said,
as Toma'd turned off the lights.
“Sure, why not? I mean, we're like a hell of a good unit. We're the leaders of
the Juniors! How stupid would Shachou be to not let 4TOPS debut as it is? Or
maybe he should let us debut with Jimmy, that would be even more fun!”, Toma
answered, turning to face his friend.
“Right... you're pretty close to Jimmy lately, aren't you?”
“Ah... yeah... it's fun when he's around, right? I like that... you still
don't, huh? Big groups and stuff...”
Yamashita silently shook his head. “Not really. I like being alone with Toma
from time to time.”, he said, grinning.
“Yeah, me too.”, Toma said, grinning back.
After a moment of silence they wished each other a good night and 'sweet dreams'
and laid down to sleep.
Only thing was that Yamashita was silently kept awake by the thought that Toma
was the one beside him. His Toma. And he was still fighting the jealousy he felt
when he saw Toma laughing with Jimmy or the other members of 4TOPS. After all,
he'd known since forever that he was a jealous person. He'd never wanted to
share his toys as a child and so it felt with his friends. Though it was
different with Toma. He didn't just want to have him. He wanted Toma to love him
as much as he did. But he couldn't tell him IF he did, he was sure he'd lose
him. And everyone knew Yamashita couldn't bear losing.

When he'd realized he was lying awake for more that an hour already, he threw a
short look at Toma's sleeping moon-lit face. Or at least it should have been
just a short glimpse which actually turned into a intense stare. And staring
like that, Yamashita wondered what it would feel like touching his lips. The
looked so soft in the daylight and now with the moon shining on them they looked
just beautiful and perfect. Maybe he could risk a short touch? Toma was asleep
anyways. He'd never notice. And convinced by this thought Yamashita slowly
reached out to carefully brush over Toma's lower lip with his thumb. And the
upper lip as well. And again the lower one. And the skin on his chin felt just
as perfectly smooth as his lips. And before Yamashita knew what he was doing, he
silently leaned over to tenderly place a kiss on Toma's forehead. As he pulled
back, he caressed his cheek as he suddenly saw Toma's wide open eyes, staring at
him. Surprised and embarrassed, Yamashita pulled back his hand and tried to
avoid Toma's gaze, not knowing what to say.
As also Toma didn't speak up after a while, Yamashita looked up and opened his
mouth but was cut off by Toma. “Toilet...”, he mumbled before he hurriedly
untangled his body from the blanket and almost fell in the direction of the
door, shutting it after him with a big noise.

Yamashita still laid on his futons, wanting to grab something until it squashed
into a thousand pieces. But instead he got up, jumped into his jeans and grabbed
his bag as suddenly the door opened again.
“What... are you doing... Yamashita?”, Toma silently asked, closing the door
after he'd stepped inside.
“What does this look like? I'm leaving. I'm sorry... my... mind's a bit off
tonight, so...”
“So what?”
Yamashita froze in his move for a moment, then sighed and grabbed his bag a bit
tighter. “You wouldn't understand anyways...”
“Try me. Please Yamashita. I want to know, you haven't even tried explaining
anything to me.”
“You wouldn't...”
“At least try, dammit! You owe me at least that!”, Toma cried.
Yamashita sighed again, then mumbled: “I... love you...”
“What?”, Toma asked, startled.
“I love you! And now let me leave, please!”, Yamashita said, taking heavy
steps towards the door. He tried to open the door but felt Toma grab his arm as
he touched the handle.
“Wait... please...”, Toma whispered. He silently leaned over, looked into
Yamashita's eyes for a second and finally kissed Yamashita. And maybe Toma knew
already, but Yamashita just couldn't help but close his eyes tightly and
demanding more, making the kiss more passionate, until Toma finally pulled back
again, smiling.
“What?”, Yamashita asked in anger. “Is this another one of your cruel
pranks or something?”
“No...”
“Then why are you grinning like that?”, Yamashita asked, getting more and
more furious.
“Isn't it obvious? Baka... I've borrowed your first kiss. Don't you want it
back?”
“How would that work?”, Yamashita asked, seeming more confused than enraged
now.
“Maybe by kissing me?”, Toma replied, but sighed as Yamashita still didn't
get it.
“Alright, stupid...”, Toma smiled, pushed Yamashita against the door and
kissed him again.
“Now I've borrowed your second one as well.”
“Then keep them...”, Yamashita finally said, lifting his hand to caress
Toma's neck. “I'm just gonna borrow yours then.”
And Yamashita pulled his grinning friend closer again, carefully placing a kiss
on Toma's lips.
“Oh, come on... is that all you've got?”, Toma pouted, trying to look
pitiful.
“Guess we've got to borrow something else as well then.”, Yamashita said,
finally grinning as well.
“Huh? What?”
“This night.”

A/N:
another un-beta-ed fic in this little world |D



                             Kapitel 6: # 84 - Sex
                             ---------------------


Prompt table: #84 - Sex
Author: Sareru
Rating: R
Genre: Romance, Smu~t
Soundtrack: One Republic - Lullaby
Notes: since everyone's been complaining that I don't write smut xD he~re it is,
enjoy 
a~h and btw~ lately I'm imagining them as teenagers and in their 4TOPS times, so
they're maybe between 16 and 18 years old... yeah, something like that ö____ö


Sex


Since they'd been a couple for several weeks already, sleep-overs had become a
common thing at Yamashita's. They'd often come here for such, since his mother
wouldn't dare to enter the room without a least knocking at the door. And this
time Toma and his boyfriend were especially lucky since Yamashita's family had
left for a trip to their relatives on Okinawa and Yamashita had to stay for
work. And since they'd known some time before, the two had planned this time to
be special. Their special first night.

So excitedly they'd started preparations already several days before the actual
thing, just to make sure they'd get everything they needed. They'd searched
through the web for some useful info, finding strange English stories which they
didn't quite get and browsed some more, finally finding what they were searching
for. Which was basically lubrication and condoms. But to make this night a bit
more special, they'd decided to have a nice romantic dinner and do the actual
thing after that. Yamashita'd even thought ahead and had bought candles to
create a special atmosphere.
“Candles? But... won't they be dangerous if we... well... get too much out
of... control?”, Toma asked, still highly embarrassed on the topic, even when
he was talking about it to his boyfriend.
“Don't worry too much, Toma. They're the small ones and I'll put them in
glasses, okay? So there's nothing to be afraid about. Worrying about candles,
silly...”, Yamashita grinned and patted Toma's head.
Actually Toma didn't worry too much about the candles but the fact that they'd
never had sex before. When they were still only friends, they'd talked about it
so often and had said they'd want to do it as soon as possible. But now Toma
wasn't so sure anymore. What if something went wrong? It wasn't only their first
time ever, but they also had no idea about having sex with a guy. They'd read in
the internet that it would hurt and they still didn't know who of them would
be... bottom and top... or however you called this.

As the actual day had arrived, Toma accompanied his boyfriend home after work.
As they entered the house, they got rid of their shoes and jackets and entered
the living room where they found a letter by Yamashita's mum, saying 'Get in bed
early today! Love, mum'. Yamashita read the letter, laughed bemusedly and said:
“No problem, mum. Really no problem at all.”
Toma showed a nervous grin which completely vanished again as Yamashita suddenly
turned around and kissed him. Surprised, Toma lost halt on his bag and it
dropped to the ground, causing some noise and some of the supplies he'd brought
for tonight started spreading on the floor.
“Ah~ gomen...”, Toma said, highly embarrassed by losing control over his
body by just a small kiss, and bent down to put the stuff back into his bag. He
heard Yamashita giggle as the younger boy turned and left for the kitchen.
Feeling bad, Toma sat down on the floor and waited for Yamashita to come back.

As his boyfriend carried two glasses of tea into the living room, Toma said:
“Ne, Yamashita... let's wait a bit longer... I don't think I feel right about
this tonight.”
“Eh?”, Yamashita said, freezing in his move and staring at Toma. He thought
for a moment, and Toma could see the inner monologue clearly written on his
face. Then Yamashita spoke up again, getting down on his knees beside Toma and
putting the glasses on the small table.
“No... let's try it tonight. There's no better chance we can get than this.
And I understand that you're afraid. Believe me... I'm so nervous it makes my
stomach hurt. But I'm looking forward to it, even if it will be a bit
complicated. But we're together and I believe we can do it. We're not the first
ones and we won't be the last. Okay?”, he said, leaning forward and placing
his forehead against Toma's while speaking, looking deeply into the other boy's
eyes.
And Toma was highly encouraged by these words, at least for the moment. He
smiled, nodded and placed his hand in Yamashita's neck, pulling him closer to
place a short kiss on his lips.

“Alright!”, Yamashita said as he jumped up after Toma had pulled back again.
“Let's grab something to eat!”
And so he ran into the kitchen, followed by Toma, and together they got the
stuff ready and put the lasagne which Yamashita's mum had prepared for them into
the oven. And not knowing what to do, Yamashita leaned against the kitchen
counter and drew Toma closer, gently kissing him for almost 15 minutes, until
Toma pulled back and said he needed to go to the bathroom and change his clothes
before they started eating. Because he was sure he wouldn't have the chance to
change after dinner.
So he left and grabbed his bag, hurrying into the bathroom. As he opened the bag
to get out a fresh shirt and shorts, the first thing he saw were the condoms.
Lots of them. Why had they even bought so many? It wasn't as if they wanted to
use all of them tonight. So he shoved them out of the way, grabbed his clothes
and pulled them out, revealing the sight of a still unopened bottle lube.
Shocked, he stared for a couple of seconds, then hurriedly closed the bag again,
his hands shaking from excitement. Then he leaned on the basin, breathing
heavily three or four times and tried to look at his reflection in the mirror,
but had to turn away again because he was too embarrassed right now. So he
washed himself off, got changed and so he returned into the kitchen, which was
empty.

“Yamashita? I... I think it burned or something...”, Toma stated, looking at
the oven. Before Yamashita had returned, he'd turned off the oven and had pulled
out the lasagne, seeing the glistening layer of melted foil on top of the food.
Yamashita came back running into the room, looking at their major fail and
bursting into laughter.
“Don't laugh, Yamashita. What about our dinner? We can't eat it like that.”,
Toma said, pouting.
Yamashita immediately stopped laughing and said: “Shit, you're right... Guess
we have to go with instant ramen instead.”
The boy sighed and turned on the water boiler after filling it with water. Then
he turned to his boyfriend again. “I'm sorry. I know you wanted to eat lasagne
but I didn't keep an eye on it. Will you forgive me tonight?”
Toma sighed dramatically, then put his arms around Yamashita's hips and said:
“I guess I have to. After all this night is our night, right? So it shouldn't
be ruined by food.”
“Yes!”, Yamashita exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. “I've been
forgiven and now I can go to heaven!”
“Turned into a Christian lately?”, Toma asked, amused.
“Silly... I didn't mean that kind of heaven.”, Yamashita said, grinned and
turned to pour the water into the by Toma already opened cups while Toma looked
at him in confusion.

They got the cups, sat down at the small table in the living room and waited for
the noodles to be ready to eat.
“What have you been doing earlier as you left the kitchen?”, Toma asked,
desperately searching for a topic different from sex to talk about.
“Ah... you'll see... later.”, Yamashita said, grinning.
“No, tell me. You know I don't like surprises on a day like this.”
“No, I won't. And now eat, I think they're okay now.”, Yamashita said,
pulling off the cap and started to eat his ramen.
Toma sighed, but then did like he was told.
After a while Yamashita said “You know... this isn't really special.
Here...”, holding the chopsticks loaded with ramen noodles in front of Toma's
face to feed him. Toma grinned, took in the noodles and almost had to spit them
out again as he had to hold back from laughing at Yamashita's excited face.
“I've actually planned to do this a while ago. And it's fun.”, Yamashita
said, giggling and feeding more of the cup's content to Toma. After Toma'd
swallowed down the noodles again, Yamashita suddenly said: “Oh wait, there's
something in your face...”, rushing forward to brush the tiny soup drop away
with his thumb. As he did so, he looked in Toma's wide-open eyes and couldn't
resist them any longer. So he slowly leaned forward, caressed Toma's cheek with
his hand and finally kissed his boyfriend softly. They sat there kissing for
several minutes as Yamashita pulled back again, took Toma's hand and said:
“Come...”
Toma gulped, getting nervous again, but grabbed his bag and followed Yamashita
to the bedroom. As Yamashita opened the door, the were welcomed by a sea of
burning candles put up all over the room.
“Actually... that's what I've been doing before.”, Yamashita said, a bit
embarrassed.
“That's... beautiful...”, Toma said, smiling and facing Yamashita. “I
believe this is going to be a really special night.”
Toma dropped his bag in the floor, put his hands on Yamashita's chest and leaned
forward again, engaging Yamashita's into another gentle kiss. His hands slowly
brushed over Yamashita's body, downwards, and finally started removing
Yamashita's shirt slowly. The younger boy held his arms up into the air so Toma
was able to proceed without any further disturbance. Encouraged by Toma's daring
action, Yamashita as well shoved his hands under Toma's shirt, caressing his
belly and slowly pulled his shirt upwards. Toma did as Yamashita'd done before
and held his hands high, letting Yamashita proceed. Throwing their clothes into
a safe corner of the room, Yamashita kicked Toma's bag towards the bed and
lightly pushed Toma in the same direction while still kissing him. As they'd
reached the bed, Toma's legs bumped against the frame and gravity pulled him
backwards while he still held on to Yamashita, who fell on top of him.
Grinning they went on and as they'd climbed fully onto the bed, Yamashita sat
down on Toma's thighs, starting to kiss his chest lightly. Toma closed his eyes,
enjoying the chills running through his whole body as he felt Yamashita's lips
touch his skin. Toma's hand searched Yamashita's and as Yamashita realized this,
he took the older boy's hand and smiled at him encouragingly.
“Do you like this? Or should I stop?”, Yamashita asked.
“I... like this... a lot...”, Toma said, smiling.
And so Yamashita went on, placing small kisses on Toma's collar bone until he
started sucking cautiously on the soft skin, causing shivers running through
Toma's whole body again. And as Yamashita did so, he started opening the button
on Toma's trousers and as Toma noticed, he suddenly became nervous again and
grabbed Yamashita's hands, looking at him desperately.
“Shh... it's gonna be okay, right? Since it's the two of us.”, Yamashita
said and smiled.
It took Toma a moment to finally be able to smile again and pull Yamashita down
to kiss him again.
So Yamashita proceeded with opening the trousers and he slowly pulled them off
Toma's waist, Toma looking at him while he did so.
“Do you... want to undo mine? Or...?”, Yamashita asked as he'd climbed up to
meet Toma's eyes again.
“I... want to do it...”, Toma replied, and eventually his hands started
wandering down Yamashita's heated body until he could feel the waistband of his
trousers and started searching for the button, as Yamashita suddenly sighed
deeply. Hearing that, Toma looked at him in surprise.
“Ah... sorry, I... this... felt nice...”, Yamashita admitted, his cheeks
showing a faint gleam of red.
“I see...”, Toma said and dared a second touch on that place, softly
caressing it. As Yamashita sighed again, Toma smiled a bit but then continued
undoing Yamashita's trousers. He pushed Yamashita onto the bed so he could
easily pull of the trousers and laid down beside him again, looking into his
eyes.
“I love you.”, Toma whispered and smiled.
“I love you, too.”, Yamashita replied and leaned forward to kiss Toma again,
his hands slowly wandering down Toma's belly until they'd reached the wristband
of his shorts. And this time Toma didn't refuse but let him continue, his own
hands slowly brushing over Yamashita's hips as well.
While Toma's hands stayed outside of his lover's shorts, Yamashita's slowly slid
inside Toma's and brushed over the soft skin, causing Toma to moan silently into
the kiss, pulling himself closer to Yamashita and intertwining Yamashita's legs
with his. As Yamashita's hand slowly stroke Toma's length and made Toma twitch
in excitement, Toma's hand started caressing the front of Yamashita's  shorts
and they eventually started to move their hips in a still unstable rhythm.
Suddenly Yamashita pulled back and said: “Stop... stop... we should... stop
here.”
He sat up and got off the bed and grabbed the bag with unstable moves. Finally
Toma'd understood why Yamashita'd wanted to stop, and so he sat up as well and
helped his boyfriend open the bag and take out a condom and the lube, pushing
the bag off the bed again.
“So...” Yamashita gulped. “Who should do... what?”, he said, looking at
Toma.
Toma gulped as well, but gathered all his trust and after a while said:
“I'll... do it... be the bottom part. I'd like to... try...”
Yamashita looked at him worried. “Are you sure?”
Toma nodded. “It's gonna be alright, remember?”, he said, smiling and
placing a small kiss on Yamashita's lips, whereas Yamashita smiled as well and
replied with a short “Okay”.
“So... Preparation is everything...”, Yamashita reminded himself, just as
he'd read in the internet. Hearing this, Toma gulped since he knew what
Yamashita was about to do now. But he'd decided not to run. After all he trusted
Yamashita. And this was their very own special night.
So Toma cautiously got rid of his shorts, breathing in hardly as they brushed
over his length. Yamashita couldn't help but watch while Toma did this and
immediately looked at the tube again, as Toma noticed his stare.
“It's... it's alright...”, Toma said in a low voice. “Watch, if you want
to. I...”
Yamashita slowly turned his head into Toma's direction again and looked for a
bunch of time, and Toma could feel his gaze sliding over his entire body.
“Perfect...”, Yamashita suddenly whispered, kissing Toma again and lightly
pushing him back onto the mattress again, the tube still in his hand. Yamashita
laid down beside his lover and kissed him for a little longer, until he drew
back again and but some of the lube on his fingers.
“Uah... feels funny...”, he said and then looked at Toma with a serious
expression again. “Are you okay?”, he asked.
“Yes...”, Toma answered without hesitating. “Do it...”
And while Toma held on to Yamashita's arms, the younger boy slowly let his
fingers slip between Toma's legs and started searching until he'd found it.
Toma breathed in hardly as he felt the cold gel on his skin, but Yamashita went
on and cautiously pressed one finger against Toma's entrance, whereas Toma
sighed deeply. But then Yamashita pulled back his hand again and told Toma to
lay his upper leg on him, so he'd have more space. After a little hesitation
Toma did as Yamashita'd said and Yamashita's hand slipped back to the place it
had been before, though his arm was now lying in Toma's leg. After pulling
Toma's whole body up a little, Yamashita's finger brushed over Toma's entrance
again and again, eventually making Toma pant a little. Finally he pushed one
finger inside of Toma and stopped as he'd entered with his fingertip, letting
Toma get used to the unknown feeling. After a moment he continued pushing and
stopped again as almost his whole finger had entered.
“Are you... okay? How is it?”, Yamashita asked, worrying about the older
boy.
“I... it's weird but... it's getting better... and it doesn't hurt up to
now.”, Toma said while panting and managing a little smile.
“Okay.”, Yamashita said, still worried a little. Oddly enough, Yamashita
like the feeling of Toma around his finger. So he continued, slowly pushing a
second finger inside of Toma. The older one's panting got heavier and his grip
around Yamashita's arm tightened a bit, so Yamashita stopped.
“No... no, go on...”, Toma said, encouraging him.
Yamashita hesitated for a moment, but then pushed a little more until this
finger as well was fully taken by Toma. And as he'd read in the internet, he
started moving his fingers a little, making Toma twitch and sigh again. “Does
this feel okay?”, Yamashita asked again.
“It... hurts a little... but... not in a bad way...”, Toma answered, his
eyes closed while concentrating on these new feeling which took over his mind.
“More...”, he demanded in a hoarse voice and Yamashita gulped at the
sexiness of this word, giving his mate what he was longing for. Highly
encouraged by this arousing view, Yamashita dared to also push a third finger
into Toma, but this time going too fast and Toma pushed Yamashita back a
little.
“Wait... not so fast... okay?”, he said, his eyes already blurry.
“A... I... I'm sorry... did it hurt too much?”, Yamashita said, feeling so
bad about what he'd just done.
“No... don't worry too much, okay? Just a little... slower...”, Toma said,
caressing Yamashita's cheek a little.
“Okay... I'm sorry...”, Yamashita said again, kissing Toma apologizingly.
“I'll... do the third one now, okay?”
Toma nodded, and Yamashita went on in his movement again, this time doing it in
Toma's pace. Toma still tightened his grip around Yamashita's arm and started
shivering a little, but didn't stop Yamashita like he'd done before. He left his
fingers like this for a moment and as the shivering stopped he started moving
them again, causing Toma to moan deeply in agreement. And it was utterly
arousing, seeing Toma like this, winding in pleasure. So Yamashita didn't want
to take it any longer and slowly pulled out his fingers again, whereas Toma
moaned hoarsely again but then looked at him in confusion as he felt the
emptiness.
“I... don't want to only feel you with my hands...”, Yamashita explained and
sat up again, grabbed for the little package and undid the condom. He pulled off
his shorts and moaned like Toma'd done as the fabric brushed over his arousal.
He got rid of the cloth, somehow managed to put on the condom and poured some of
the lube on it.
As he  faced Toma again, he noticed that his boyfriend had turned to lay on the
back and face Yamashita. So Yamashita slowly sank onto him and started to kiss
him again, feeling Toma's hands caressing his back. As Yamashita pulled back
again, Toma asked: “Do you... want me to turn around?”
“No...”, Yamashita said, shaking his head. “I want to face you properly
and most of all I don't want you to be embarrassed or anything.”
“Okay...”, Toma whispered, smiling and heaving his hips up a little
supported by Yamashita's arm.
“I'm...”, Yamashita started, but didn't know what to say, so he didn't
finish the sentence but just nodded to Toma and so he started adjusting himself
between Toma's legs. He waited a moment as he'd found the right position, then
started pushing slowly, causing Toma to moan even louder that before. He halted
at some point, feeling that Toma was  tightening too much.
“Toma...”, he said, trying to soothe his lover. “Toma... relax a little...
please...”
Yamashita started caressing Toma's butt and engaged him into another passionate
kiss and his strategy seemed to work, since he could feel Toma's tightness
vanishing a little. So he pushed inside farther and this time managed to pushed
his whole length inside, moaning again and again at the astonishing feelings. He
forced himself to stay like this for a little longer until he felt Toma's
tightness vanishing almost completely and then started to pull back and push
inside again in a soft and floating movement, building up a certain rhythm.
Toma'd pressed his head into the pillow and put his arms around Yamashita's
neck, pulling him closer every time the younger one pushed inside him.
Suddenly Toma shrieked, causing Yamashita to freeze on the spot and looking at
him, worried again.
“What's wrong?”, he asked.
“N-nothing... do it... do it again...”, Toma said, not able to open his eyes
right now.
“Do what again?”, Yamashita asked, confused.
“Just do it!”, Toma said, obviously desperate for more. So Yamashita
continued moving like he'd done before and after a while he heard Toma moan
loudly again.
“Yeah... that... that's it...”, he said while panting heavily.
So Yamashita tried to move like he'd done just now, with the angle a bit off the
usual. And there Toma went again, moaning and pushing his fingernails into
Yamashita's back, making him moan as well.
So Yamashita continued thrusting in that angle, and he also started lightly
massaging Toma's length about which he'd forgotten complete until just now.
So they went on and on in a constant rhythm which eventually got a little off
here and there and as Toma started thrusting into Yamashita's hand he felt like
he was about to reach the cliff and was more that ready to jump off it.
“I... can't... any longer... I...”, Toma mumbled under his uneven breath and
Yamashita seemed to understand as he just nodded and thrust a little faster
again.
“I... ah... Tomo... Tomohisa...”, Toma repeated over and over again and also
moaned his name loudly and he finally came in Yamashita's hand, tightening as
much as he was allowed to around his lover, which also pushed Yamashita over the
edge and he came with a last thrust in Toma.

As they'd cooled down a bit again, Yamashita let himself sink on Toma's chest
and felt his lover pant as heavily as he did.
“I... love you...”, Yamashita said, smiling with still blurry eyes at the
older one.
“I love you, too.”, Toma replied, kissing Yamashita' forehead. “Thank you
for... making me do this...”
They embraced each other tightly and still panted heavily after several minutes,
until Yamashita finally said in a small voice.
“You know... you're still moving...”, throwing and obvious expression at
Toma.
“Oh no...”, the older one said, pretending to be frightened.
“Oh yes...”, Yamashita said, grinned and kissed the older one again, always
ready for more, if Toma would let him.




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