Midii Une's bad day von Samurai_Patty ================================================================================ Kapitel 1: ----------- Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai. I'm not getting any money out of this. Just living out my crazy creative streak by plunging the Characters' lifes into chaos *grins maniacally*. The 'Out-of-the-office' return messages aren't mine, but something I found on a sheet of paper hanging in a friends office, so I decided to have some fun with them *g*. Sadly I don't know where they originally came from... Pairing(s): none Warnings: may cause sudden fits of laughter... since certain persons will get mocked shamelessly ^^ Thanks to: My dear sister for beta-reading this! And now without further ado I present to you: Midii Une's bad day It was undeniable now. Lady Une had definitely had better days than this! Somehow it seemed all six of her favourite preventers were in conspiracy to make her job more complicated than necessary today. Usually she could count on their reliability 24/7, but when she tried to contact them today... First she thought about it being a hoax from Maxwell and would have expected as much from him, the boy had never been good with authorities. Only it became quite clear after she'd gone to investigate that they really weren't around. All of them!!! What had she done to deserve this? Midii thought back on how it had started, trying to contact Barton via e-mail she'd not – like expected – been graced with his presence in her office five minutes later. Nor did she receive a reply to it, instead there had suddenly popped up one of those instant Out-of-the-office return messages. Which was curious in itself and the fact that it told her 'I've run away to join a different circus!' nearly made her facefault. Had this been written by the guy she'd come to respect as a serious and efficient soldier during his infiltration missions in the war? Next she'd tried Winner – if just to ask him about Barton's strange mood – and been presented with another auto-reply. A little stunned, but still not expecting another of those strange occurrences, the Head of Preventers had opened said mail to come face to face with a text that read 'Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.' Her mouth had dropped open at that and with lingering traces of discomposure she had sent a cry for help to her best friend Sally. Maybe the preventers' doctor would be able to verify that she hadn't finally gone off the deep end and was imagining getting strange reactions from her ex-opponents. Sadly this action had only served to throw her further when Sally's e-mail program returned the auto-message 'You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks...' To say Une was getting slightly furious by then, would have been like calling the war a “little disagreement”. She was getting strange, silly and totally uncalled for instant replies from people she would normally trust like none other in the world. There was only one amongst them who had a sick enough sense of humour – which she normally mostly appreciated – for this and he was more than enough of a computer expert to do it! So it came to pass that Duo Maxwell was about to get a piece of his superior's mind via e-mail, along with an order to directly report to her office. For nearly half an hour after that nothing happened, other than Midii trying to calm herself down. Then a mechanical voice informed her “You received a new message”. And upon reading she asked herself if today could get any worse. Obviously technology was now against her as well, since she was told in no uncertain terms 'The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.' Nerves lying bare and unable to concentrate or think straight by then, she did as requested. ...And she did so FOUR times, because the result had been the same every damn time, until after the fourth try the text got slightly changed saying 'The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.(The beauty of it is that when I return, I can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)' Strange to say, but with that mail the overwhelming urge to strangle somebody, preferably with their own braid, returned with a vengeance. She'd go out there and hunt him down, but before she did so, needed someone to look after the goings-on around the office. In order for that the next mail was sent out to dictate Chang to her office, he'd always been good at making sure everyone did what they were supposed to. What happened next nearly made her destroy the monitor that sat temptingly close to the edge of her desk... there was no sign of preventer Chang other than the computer annoying her about another message. It stated 'I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.' in unmistakable straight to the point Chang-style. Maybe it wasn't her that was going mad, but everyone else around her! Midii Une came to a conclusion: she'd sent out Yuy to drag Maxwell to her office for his punishment and afterwards she would chew the rest of them out about the lacking security on their mail-accounts which allowed the prankster to create this much havoc. Oh, she was sure at least the Perfect Soldier would have taken enough security measures to keep the hyperactive Shinigami out of his files etc. How dreadfully wrong this assumption was she realized a few minutes later when another auto-reply informed her 'You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.' So in a last desperate attempt to get her hands on at least one of her top-agents she finally tried Yuy's private mail-account... Only to receive another one of those dreaded return e-mails. Nearly defeated by now she cautiously and unwillingly opened it... and nearly fell off her chair with laughter. That message said 'RELENA! I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless e-mails you send me until I return from my vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.' All of her anger dissipating into nothing, she smiled about the annoyance that the text implied – especially since Yuy wasn't on vacation – and reread the few lines that suddenly made this shitty day bearable. It relaxed her to the point where Midii knew she was as balanced as she would get. Now she'd decide on a further plan of action. First she had to find her agents to find out if they had really all vacated their work and second, should this be the case, she would go after them until she figured out the reason behind all this madness. Third depended on what she would find out, but the one responsible should better have an awfully good reason for everything they did... The aforementioned decision had been made three hours ago and Lady Une had yet to find the five ex-pilots as well as Sally who were all conspicuous by their absence. That brought her back to sitting behind her desk wondering what was going on and why, when suddenly a knock sounded from the door. Sighing to herself she replied “Come in!” which was followed by the entrance of a very intimidated looking messenger. The meek mousy guy dropped an envelope on the heavy oak desk and was gone seconds later without a word. One of Une's eyebrows shot up into her hairline – this day kept getting stranger, after all – but she reached for the letter anyway. On closer inspection she discovered it to be two of them and made to open the blue envelope that lay on top. Inside was a card that read Hi boss, Happy Fools-Day with the best regards from your favourite agents ^^ (which we hope we still are :)) And somehow she couldn't help the feeling that she'd already forgiven the six of them. Nevertheless she now was weary of what the second envelope might contain, since today had proven that those competent preventers were also quite capable of the most devilish schemes to sent people on their way to madness. Still you could say a lot about Lady Une except that she was a coward, so the letter – in olive green, her favourite colour – was ripped open and... ...contained an even more harmless message than the first one. Dear Midii, hereby we sent you our most sincere best wishes for your birthday. May you still have many of them to come. For today and the future all the good luck anyone could ask for. Sally Po , Quatre R. Winner , Trowa Barton , Heero Yuy , Duo Maxwell , Wufei Chang PS.: We would like for you to join us in the break room. And no peaking, it's a surprise! At this Une's lips fought between smiling and outright laughing. The whole day she tried to hunt them down in order to ask if they'd like to join her for a birthday get together with dinner. And when they finally got her to forget her own birthday over everything she'd had to put up with, they went and turned the tables on her. It would never get boring with all of them around, that much was sure she wouldn't forget this birthday for some time. Why did she have to be born on fool's day anyway? Slowly she went down to meet them and they had a great outing to close a troublesome day. And about a month later – just to prove that she was willing to forgive, though not necessarily forget – Une watched as her monitor showed the reaping of what she sow. She sat in silent amusement when witnessing how after Maxwell strolled by the rest of the staff started whispering behind his back. She gave outright evil smiles when the first people began calling him 'Loretta', especially after Chang and Barton did it which left the otherwise quick-witted agent totally flabbergasted. But what sent her nearly into hysterics was when the braided one discovered the reason behind all those mysterious goings-on around him as she walked by his office door. His face seemed to be torn between a pout and a grin of pleasant surprise when he whined at her, “That was mean Une-chan!” The letters that were emblazoned on his monitor reaffirmed that he'd been checking on his Out-of-the-office message and found it saying 'I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as “Loretta” instead of “Steve”.' Barely managing to keep a straight face, Midii countered teasingly, “Don't you think, too, that revenge is sweet, Duo?” which made them both burst out into heartfelt laughter. ~Owari~ S_P: Okay I'm done! Hope you had as much fun reading as I had writing it! Duo: You gave Une a sense of humour! That somehow spooks me... Wufei: It's not only that... the thing that's really creepy is that it almost matches yours, Maxwell! Duo: Oi! So you're saying I'm a creep? Heero: If the shoe fits... S_P: Now guys, no arguing! It's only pointlessly elongating the fic. But my reason for giving Une a sense of humour was that I figured she had to have one, since she's putting up with all of you ^^ All pilots: What the...? Now your in for it! S_P: *runs away before she can be used for target practice* Hosted by Animexx e.V. (http://www.animexx.de)